This time, I stayed quiet.
Finally, Sophie said, “I can’t stop you from visiting a public hospital.”
That wasn’t a yes.
But it wasn’t a no.
So the next morning, I came back.
And the morning after that.
At first, Sophie barely spoke to me.
I sat in the chair near the wall, leaving enough distance that she wouldn’t feel crowded. Sometimes she slept. Sometimes she watched the silent television without really seeing it. Sometimes nurses came in and adjusted tubes or checked her temperature, and I stepped outside each time because I didn’t want her to feel observed.
I learned the rhythm of the hospital.
The breakfast trays came too early.
The hallway lights never fully dimmed.
The nurses changed shifts at seven.
The vending machine on the fourth floor stole dollar bills.
Sophie liked the blue blanket from the warmer better than the white ones folded in the cabinet.
On the third day, she asked me to pass her water.
On the fourth, she let me read aloud from the mystery novel I’d found in the gift shop.
On the fifth, she laughed.
It was small and hoarse, more breath than sound, but it was real.
The laugh came after I mispronounced the name of a fictional detective three times in one paragraph.
“You’re doing that on purpose,” she said.
“I am not.”
“You absolutely are.”
“I’m bringing dramatic flair.”
“You’re ruining literature.”
For a moment, the room shifted.
Not back to what we had been.
Something like it.
Something gentler, sadder, and more careful.
Then her smile faded, and she looked down at her hands.
“We used to be good at this,” she said.
“At what?”
“Being together without trying so hard.”
The words settled between us.
I closed the book.
“I miss that.”
She didn’t answer.
But she didn’t ask me to leave.
A week passed before the biopsy results came.
Dr. Keller entered the room just after lunch with another doctor beside him, an oncologist named Dr. Anita Shah. The moment I saw both of them, my chest tightened.
Sophie was sitting upright, wrapped in a cardigan her mother had brought. Her mother, Linda, stood near the window, holding her purse with both hands like a shield.
Linda had barely spoken to me since she arrived from Milwaukee.
I didn’t blame her.
The first time she saw me in Sophie’s room, her face went completely still.
