The hostess tapped her finger against her computer screen, her eyes darting back to mine with a quiet, professional sympathy.
“Ah, yes. Party of five,” she said, her voice dropping to a softer tone as she looked at the empty space behind me. “The rest of your group is already seated.”
She picked up two menus and stepped out from behind the podium, gesturing toward the corridor that led to the main dining room.
“Is there anyone else joining you?” she asked, looking toward the glass doors behind me where the streetlights were just turning on.
“My husband is parking the car,” I said, the lie slipping out before I could think, my hand smoothing the green silk over my thigh.
She nodded, her eyes lingering on my dress for a fraction of a second, her face neutral.
“Right this way, Mrs. Miller,” she said, turning toward the main dining room.
I followed her past the dark wooden booths, my heels clicking against the hardwood floor. Every step felt like walking through deep water, the emerald green silk rustling softly with my movement, drawing the eyes of a couple dining near the corridor.
At the corner table near the back window, three familiar faces turned toward me. Jake stood up first, his tall frame blocking the light from the brass chandelier above them.
Lily was already waving, her silver rings catching the light as she gestured toward the empty chair next to her.
Noah smiled from his seat, his hand resting on a clear pitcher of water, ready to pour.
I reached the edge of the table, looking at my children’s smiling faces while my own hands shook.
Lily stood up so fast her chair scraped against the hardwood floor. She reached across the small table, her fingers brushing the dark green sleeve of my dress with a light, tentative touch.
“Oh, Mom, you look absolutely gorgeous,” Lily said, her voice fast and light as she twisted three silver rings on her left index finger. “I have never seen you in this color before.”
Jake stopped tapping his spoon against the rim of his water glass and stood up to hug me. He held me tightly for a second, his hand pressing against my back, right where the silk of the dress met my skin.
“Happy birthday, Mom,” Jake said, pulling back to look at me with a quiet smile. “You really do look beautiful.”
Noah, the quietest of the three, simply nodded from his seat and cracked his knuckles, a habit he only had when he was deeply moved or nervous. He pulled out the empty chair beside him, gesturing for me to sit down.
I slid into the seat, the smooth fabric of the dress bunching slightly around my knees. The warmth of the dining room was a sharp contrast to the biting October air outside, but my skin still felt cold.
“We were worried you guys got lost,” Lily said, leaning over the candle in the center of the white tablecloth. “The traffic on Main Street looked terrible from the window.”
“We made fine time,” I said, though my voice sounded thinner than I wanted it to.
Lily leaned closer, her eyes scanning my face under the amber glow of the hanging lamps. Her smile faded slightly, replaced by a line between her brows.
“Mom, your eyes are so red,” Lily said, her silver rings clicking together as she touched her own cheek. “Are you okay? Have you been crying?”
I smoothed my hands down my thighs, pressing the emerald silk against my legs to stop my fingers from shaking.
“It is just the cold wind outside,” I said, offering her a quick smile that did not reach my eyes. “The breeze off the river is really strong tonight.”
Jake looked from me to the empty chair at the head of the table, his spoon quiet in his hand.
Noah reached for the heavy glass pitcher in the center of the table and poured cold lemon water into my glass. He set the pitcher down without a sound and looked directly at me.
